"So you're insane"
"That's what being young and single is for, right?"
"Mmm."

My roommate and I are about to do something absurd.

No specifics, but let me say that it will involve approximately 36 hours of driving and we're not really stopping anywhere.

Suitable Suitors?

That guy called again last night.

Just as a guide for men everywhere, here are some topics you should NOT bring up when calling a girl for the first or, indeed, the second time.

1. Your sex life, or lack there of. At some point this becomes important, but not the first time I talk to you.

2. The sex life of anyone you know. Or anyone you don't know. Really, sex just isn't a good "getting to know you" topic.

3. Lack of money, lack of job, lack of education.
If it comes up, it comes up, but for heaven's sake don't go out of your way to tell a girl that you have nothing to offer.

4. Do not have a conversation about how you don't know how to have a conversation. You may think you're excusing that reacurring awkward lull, but you're really just confirming my suspicions that your thoughts are not worth voicing, much less listening to.

5. Please do not ask the girl if you're annoying her. If she's polite in any sense of the word she cannot tell you the truth.

Tonight

I'm always jealous of people who have these beautiful friends who are willing to pose for photos, seemingly, all the time. My friends mostly refuse point blank.

That's why I spend two & a half hours photographing one of the highschool students tonight. She loves to pose and I'm desperate for people to let me take their photo, so it's pretty much perfect. She brought along extra outfits to change into and everything! So much fun.



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On another note,

I'm much too tired to explain fully why Malibu Tanning is a bad company. But since Malibu Tanning is all too happy to take my money and provide nothing in return - I am compelled to mention that Malibu Tanning is in want of a conscience, as often as possible.

More on this and why even Wal-mart loves you more than Malibu Tanning, at a later time.

Goodnight kids.

Oh, no.

Every once in a while one of my friends decides that I need to date somebody. They know this guy and they think we'd be great together.

The worst example ever is courtesy of my friend Mary. She called me up and told me about this guy, noting that her fiance had adviced against trying to set me up with the person and that if she just couldn't help herself she should at least warn me. Justin, thank-you. I knew then that Mary was with a very smart man.

Having successfully avoided every summer get together that Mary invited me to (Yes Mary, I avoided them), I wasn't about to skip Mary's wedding, but was unafraid because Mary would have much more important things to be thinking about.

My problem is that I'm too optimistic.

I was introduced to a young man comprised entirely of limbs and a foolish grin. Two sentences were sufficient to tell me that a "great personality" was not going to redeem him. I was traumatized, but Justin got to say, "I told you so" before they'd been married a full hour.

So tonight I get a call from a number I don't recognize. I thought it was from a friend whose number changed - but a guy's voice answered. Then I remembered.

One of my friends knows this guy. She gave him my number and evidently everyone he knows has been telling him to call.

I don't know what he looks like. I don't have to. One conversation. One.
I already know that this fellow would drive me up a wall.

Friends, family, boys & girls of all ages - don't set me up with anyone.

I know, I know. I should be giving people more of a chance.
I never know what could happen. Yada, yada, yada.

Kids, I do know what could happen - and homocide is not in my life plan.

My (Roommate's) Boyfriend

I designed this for my roomy. We saw a shirt proclaiming the same message, but it was ugly. Why should having a boyfriend in the army mean she's going to wear an ugly shirt?

Yeah, we couldn't think of a reason either.

It's also available like this:

Driving home I passed a buggy...pulled by a teenage boy.

I really wish I'd had the courage to pull the car over and ask if I could take his picture, because it would have been awesome. But I didn't...so no picture. I keep telling myself that next time I will stop...but it hasn't happened yet.

Mini Road Trip

Yesterday afternoon I took off for the midde parts of Indiana.

For a while I drove between cornfields thinking how pretty Indiana farm land is. Those thoughts stopped abruptly when the road turned the gravel and began to lack proper signage. When I got close to my destination my googled directions stopped making sense any left over admiration for the landscape was swept away with a phonecall in which even the people I was trying to get to weren't quite sure of their location. It turns out that they live on a corner of their county - and it connect with another three - which confuses google...and me.

When I arrived my friend, 'Chel, apologized and reminded me that she hasn't lived in Indiana for three years. Her roommate, Sonya, pointed out that in Deleware the roads so as to avoid this sort of confusion.

We went antiquing, which mostly consisted of browsing in one shop that was already closed and another in which the old man kept us an extra half hour talking about nothing and how much we would probably like to escape him.

Dinner was comprised mainly of food that I hate. Fish and sauerkraut. And a layered salad, but I like salad. It was all delicious. The fish was Alaskan Pollock - I have no idea if it was the type or the flavoring or the fact that it was grilled over the fire, but it was so good. The 'kraut was ok because we put slivered almonds on top to kill the bite.

Afterwards we watched 'Chel's brother turn buckets into shrapnel with homemade fireworks while the rest of us gathered around a campfire with a "chimney". A campfire chimney is a hollowed out log that is placed on top of a fire. The suction makes the flames shoot out the top. It's spiffier than it sounds.

Then we burnt a huge pile of tree trimmings and that was pretty much amazing.

It was a good time. Plus, I'm pretty pleased that I was able to talk to everyone easily enough. Normally I do badly with new people, but it was fun.

Ooh, sparkly

I just like to mess around with my drawings on the computer. Some day I hope to sell some of my stuff on a site like Etsy or...something...but I'm not really sure what to put on there or what to sell or...anything really. I'm thinking about starting with some cards or something. I think people might be more likely to buy cute notecards than just a cute print. Notecards have a purpose, prints are an indulgance.

research

I was just taking a quick break from my current illustration and scanning the Relevant news slices when I saw this story about a stamp depicting the American flag with one white stripe too many. I'm not sure how the artist managed to paint her flag this way. As a kid growing up in America I remember painstakingly counting stars and stripes in a futile attempt to depict our nation's flag accurately. How is it possible that Laura Stutzman, a professional artist, didn't take the time?

Since I'm in the middle of illustrating a book full of short stories that are largely from another time and culture than I live in I've been spending a lot of time in online research. My current project (the one I'm taking a break from) is a picture of a tramp eating dinner with a family in the 1930s.

I had no idea what tramps or farming families were wearing at the time, so I googled tramps, 1930, the Great Depression, and To Kill a Mockingbird. Films are great for getting details about another era if there aren't many pictures of the actual period. I like to assume that the costume department at Universal did its homework.

Before that I was working on a story with three women careening down the road in a car in the 1950s, but most of the stories involve Amish, which are easier and harder to depict. Easier, because they haven't changed much in the last 50-70 years, so a photo from last week is often just as good as one from the actual year the story took place. Harder, because I've only been around Amish people for a couple of years and I don't really know the culture.

For example, Amish have different wedding traditions that we do, so if I drew an Amish wedding I'd have some issues (we've already had this problem in advertising).

Half the time I can't figure out if the story is about an Amish family or not so I end up quizzing my boss on Amish customs, traditions, and names to figure out what I should be drawing.

Some of the stories I simply can't draw. Most of them take place on farms, which I have less experience with than I do with either the Amish or the 1930s!

RedisWhite

I'm a regular reader of the Relevant website. I'm also a graphic designer who has a love/hate relationship with threadless. Love, because there are some awesome designs submitted...hate because almost none of them get printed.

So, when I saw RedisWhite advertised on Relevant my first thought was, "Oh good. Another Christian product rip off." And, to be fair, it is just a less awesome, Christianized threadless.

On the other hand, I was impressed with some (some) of the artwork on RedisWhite.

And I have to be all in favor of more opportunities to submit designs and get printed (since nothing good is printed on threadless lately).

Watercolor Seashore

My mom and I did some painting while I was home . It was probably the first time I've painted since I graduated college. Clearly watercolor is not what I'm best at, but I thought I'd post it anyhow.