Monday, November 15, 2010

Silent Songbird

I have a condition called Fibyomyalgia. Or Myofascial Pain Syndrome. Or both. My doctors didn't agree and now I don't have health insurance so it's a little unclear.

The main thing is, my muscles hurt.

I'm not a person that this is a big deal for.
Some people have such severe pain that they can't work, it's hard to sleep, and even small household chores can wipe them out for the day. I hold down a full time job, keep my apartment respectable, sell my personal art on the side, volunteer weekly, and have a decent social life.

But every now and again it becomes problematic.

It isn't the biggest problem I've had, but this past week I've had a bit of a pain in my jaw. At first I thought my teeth hurt and I had cavities again and, I won't lie, I was pretty upset. But as I considered it more I realized that my teeth were not bothered by crunching up hard foods, drinking ice-water, or eating sweets - all cavity related issues that popped up last time.

I came to realize that actually my jaw didn't hurt at all in the early morning (like it might if I were grinding my teeth at night) or in the late evening (when, this week, I've been home alone).

Kids, my mouth has been hurting whenever I've been singing! I tend to sing when I'm in the car or the tv is off in my apartment (though I try to not, because I figure my neighbors have never done anything to deserve that)
So I decided to quit.  It's not like I sing well, so what's the big deal?

Oh. Apparently I love to sing. I catch myself trying to sing all the time. I hear the chorus of a song I love and I just want to belt it out. It's been all of two days since I had this revelation and I'm going nuts!

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