Waste of a Weekend

Its been a ridiculously frustrating weekend. So I guess its not really suprising that I have the patience of a two year old now that I’m back at work. Every little thing feels like a crisis so half of my morning has been spent thinking, "Actually, the world won’t fall apart if you computer doesn’t open that file in 0.2 seconds. Get. A. Grip." My self lectures aren’t really all that successful.

I missed out on something I really wanted to be at, mostly because I was angry and didn’t want to contact the person I needed to talk to in order to get the information I needed. I thought said person was just blowing me off after I’d already asked...but in reality e-mail failed me...and the fact that I’m too darn stubborn.

My ex launched yet another hidious tirade and a group of our friends/acquantences. He has a tendency to hate us...mostly for something one of his other ex’s did to him, which wasn’t pretty horrible, but isn’t our fault.

He’s furious because she had this high standard she wanted to live up to. Most days I just want to laugh in his face, because when we were dating he got angry at me because I didn’t have any list of things I’d change about him or something I thought he should improve. He gets so angry at people because he thinks they want him to be all perfect and proper...and to a certain degree that’s true. We have certain expectations about how grown men will act in general. But he thinks Christian women expect their significant other to be a sort of mini-christ. This, is simply infuriating because he has always acted as if having a girlfriend or wife will somehow transform his life into perfect...as if it were salvation. When we dated he had all these things I needed to change...in the name of honesty and truth he felt he had to tell me all my many flaws. I know he did it to the next girl he dated as well. I can’t say I have much sympathy for the fact that in his search for the perfect girl he found someone who has higher expectations than he did.

Of course when I’m not simply ready to slap him in the face with an iron skillet I think he’s finally lost his mind. He keeps going on about how God made him just so that the chosen people could walk all over him and use him as a learning experience so that their lives would be more perfect.

And the whole Link mutation...I know anyone who reads this blog already knows how I feel about that...except for maybe Alice...who cannot figure out what I’m whispering to her even when we’re sitting right next to each other ;)

On the plus side, I really just can’t convey how excited I am about moving. I’m dying to live in a city again. Near a mall (even if it is a tiny one) and with two Wal-marts and the Mejier. Its going to be such a relief. Country living is for organized people who don’t forget half the things on thier grocery list every time they go to the store. And a house, with a yard! That’s exciting.