Oh, no.

Every once in a while one of my friends decides that I need to date somebody. They know this guy and they think we'd be great together.

The worst example ever is courtesy of my friend Mary. She called me up and told me about this guy, noting that her fiance had adviced against trying to set me up with the person and that if she just couldn't help herself she should at least warn me. Justin, thank-you. I knew then that Mary was with a very smart man.

Having successfully avoided every summer get together that Mary invited me to (Yes Mary, I avoided them), I wasn't about to skip Mary's wedding, but was unafraid because Mary would have much more important things to be thinking about.

My problem is that I'm too optimistic.

I was introduced to a young man comprised entirely of limbs and a foolish grin. Two sentences were sufficient to tell me that a "great personality" was not going to redeem him. I was traumatized, but Justin got to say, "I told you so" before they'd been married a full hour.

So tonight I get a call from a number I don't recognize. I thought it was from a friend whose number changed - but a guy's voice answered. Then I remembered.

One of my friends knows this guy. She gave him my number and evidently everyone he knows has been telling him to call.

I don't know what he looks like. I don't have to. One conversation. One.
I already know that this fellow would drive me up a wall.

Friends, family, boys & girls of all ages - don't set me up with anyone.

I know, I know. I should be giving people more of a chance.
I never know what could happen. Yada, yada, yada.

Kids, I do know what could happen - and homocide is not in my life plan.