Robin and I watched American Idol the other night. We've decided that we should be the judges because our comments are ever so much wittier than Simon's. Sadly, we have no accents and I suspect that is the real reason why he's on the show because the only three adjectives he knows are "rubbish", "awful", and caberet"

As always we are amazed at the number of contestants who 1) Believe that they can sing even when three or four (they have guest judges this year?) people who are known for finding singing talent tell them that their performance wasn't good.

One young man criticized Simon's use of the word "rubbish" (I criticized it too, he should have used something harsher) saying, "What is that? The British word for trash? Who uses that word?" Anyone with a vocabularly? Good heavens. The fool went on to berate Simon for daring to come to America and say who should be an "American Idol", he demanded to see Simon's working visa.
"That," said Robin, "Is why people hate Americans." Probably it is. How on earth can someone believe that they know more or are better than someone simply because of the soil they are born on? Obviously Mr. Cowel (sp?) is a recognized authority in his field, but contestants who have nothing to recommend them continue to criticize him for being British. It's worse than when they think he doesn't have ears because he can't sing.

We were also amazed by people who 2) believed that they should be let into a singing contest...even though they cannot sing.

One girl came on, sang, declared she knew she couldn't hold a tune in a bucket, and demanded they let her on the show anyhow and teach her to sing. When they declined her generous offer she told them how rude they were, stalked out of the room, and ranted again to the camera about how just because people couldn't sing didn't mean they weren't important and how the judges were out to 3 am drinking the night before and how that was rude.

A couple of other girls believe that the judges should let them in because of how many people expected them to get in. They begged and cried and believed that their world was ending.

Many, many people told the judges that they were making huge mistakes and that they would be sorry.

This is what, the sixth year of American Idol? I haven't watched every season (ok, so I've only seen two, but there's not alot that changes) but, I'm pretty sure that if the judges were going to be kept up nights by not letting in people with voices that can only be described as less-than-mediocre, it would have happened by now.

How is it exactly that people in group 1) are so self deluded? Or do they do it on their own? Are they helped along in their fantasy world by friends and family who wish to bouy them up with false hope? Or do these people, who should have locked them indoors until the try-outs were over, try to tell the lunatics that they cannot sing and are tuned out?

Why is it that people in group 2) believe that they are entitled to be in a contest for which they clearly do not meet the requirements? If it were for ages 3 and younger they certainly would not demand to be let in at age 24. But then again, I think people would try to enter a contest for people 18 and over when they are only 16. Women would definately try to enter a contest designated "for men only". When is it exactly that we begin the rules do not or should not apply to us?