Saturday, September 8, 2007

Rocking it Old School

I'm not really one of those, "Oh I love old people" types. They are out there, wandering around saying silly things like, "It's so cute when old people love each other," or, "It's so cute how old people get angry," or, "It's so cute that old people sneeze," as if being old somehow makes human behavior unusual.

But, there are two things that I adore about old women.

1. They tell amazing stories.

2. They are always appalled that I don't have a boyfriend or ten.

It used to bother me when people got all shocked that I wasn't seeing anybody. But in college a friend told me, "It's better than them finding it perfectly reasonable that you don't have a boyfriend," and I've chosen to look at it that way ever since.

But back to the old women. It isn't really that they think I'm such an amazingly wonderful person that I should be struggling to find empty spaces on my calander, its just that when they were young people dated someone different each night of the week. Whenever I am told this it is always in a tone that could double for comments about the high rate of crime or unemployment. The tone always wonders, "What is the matter with young people these days?"

My first reaction was to be amused. After all, old people are supposed to be more conservative than my parents, not less. Still, as I look my and my friend's experiences/traumas with dating I begin to wonder if the old ladies are not, in fact, right to shake their heads at the way we date.

Whenever you get something for nothing, someone gets nothing for something.

But, this is the way we date. Without commitments, but with expectations.

In the 1940s, until there was a ring involved no one got to expect anything. Yes, Sue might be out with Bobby tonight, but that certainly wouldn't stop Sue from seeing Stewart the next night and likewise Bobby will probably be out with Anne. Why not?

On the other hand, expectations are taylored to match this lack of commitment. Sue may be seeing four different boys, but she will not expect any one of them to fulfill her emotional needs. None of these boys are going to expect Sue to make her world revolve around them. Dates would be a lot less pressure for everyone and there would be ample opportunity for everyone to observe what they do and do not appreciate about the opposite gender.

Currently dating several people at once would make a person a player, but if it were understood that until a commitment is made no commitment can be expected back, this wouldn't be an issue. And when when that commitment was finally made (whether its "going steady" or an engagement) I think it would mean more and be better thought out for being a concious decision rather than this slippery slope where one day you think someone is attractive and all of a sudden you're stuck with them.

That's why I think we should bring back 1940's dating...and dresses...they had some real cute dresses back then.


Beautifully Profound said...

I have ventured over to the land of polka dots and 40's dresses. I agree with you about the 40's dating thing. Things seemed so much more simple back then. Maybe it's all a matter of perception though. Anyway, thanks for the comments! They were very kind and happily received.

Robin Marie said...

Definitely the dresses. so pretty. So classy. so flattering. and the dating thing is right-on, too.

Emily said...

I'm afraid I fall into that group of people that think old people can be funny. Not all the time, just on occasion. Take my boss's mom for example. She's 80 and is seriously considering marrying her 92 year-old beau.

Melody said...

lol, ok, that is kind of funny

template by flower brushes by